IC Contact Post

[anexcitableboy]

Hey, it's Jimmy, and I can't come to the whatsit right now. Drop me a line and I'll catch you on the flip side.

Comments

[ Video ]

[11121_assumption]

There was something I was meant to do. But I can't do it here. It's all I was.

I didn't want to be alive. And I wasn't. But now I am, and I'm not meant to be. [ In his lap, Assumption knows that tone. That's the Sad Tone. He pushes himself into Walter's arm, holding on tightly. ]

[ Video ]

[anexcitableboy]

Yeah, but...none of that shit matters, here.

It's like another chance. A whole other life. It ain't the one we had before, it's something all new. There was stuff I was supposed to do, but... that was back there. It doesn't matter anymore.

None of that shit matters anymore.

[ Video ] (as a heads up he's in a depressed headspace so he's gonna be showing not good behaviour)

[11121_assumption]

Then. What do I do? What does matter? It was all I was and you say it doesn't matter here.

Everything I've done was for nothing here? [ He's visibly tensing up, not looking at the screen. Assumption clamps onto his arm tightly. ]

[anexcitableboy]

You live your life. Same as everybody else.

I just mean that whatever was going on back home, it's not here. There's nothing and nobody you gotta live for but you.

[11121_assumption]

I can't. [ He shakes his head sadly. ] I can't. I tried, but I had to do what I was made to do.

I had to live for the Order. I had to die for the Order. I had to.

[anexcitableboy]

Hey, hey, it's okay.

I mean, listen to what you're saying. You had to. Past tense, buddy. That's what you had to do.

Here, you don't have to. You gotta take some time and just think about what you want. What you really want. Not for anybody else, but just for you.

[11121_assumption]

I wanted to be dead. I didn't want to feel sad and lonely and in pain anymore.

I still don't want to be here.

[anexcitableboy]

But you don't gotta feel like that, here. You ain't alone. But you gotta actually live, you know? Otherwise you ain't gonna feel any different.

[11121_assumption]

I...don't know how to...

[anexcitableboy]

Sometimes I think nobody does, to start. I think we gotta learn how.

Hell, you're doing it right now, asking me about this stuff and talking it out. That's gotta be the first step, right?

[11121_assumption]

I thought people just...were happy? That they didn't have to think about it.

[anexcitableboy]

Shit, I wish it worked like that. There's a lot of thinking and a lot of doing, to be happy.

But it's sure as hell worth it.

[11121_assumption]

...what do I need to do? I'm still...My duty to the Order still stands. But without guidance I can't...

[anexcitableboy]

I wish I could tell you, but I think it's different for everybody. I know what I had to go through, but I don't think it'd help you. Me...hell, I was a stinking drunk.

But hey, that's what friends are for. Guidance and stuff. My friends helped me, and now I'm sober and doing great!

[11121_assumption]

...I see. [ But he's still looking down and unsure. ]